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This boundary work may be a component of emotion work, globally defined as “activities that are concerned with the enhancement of others’ emotional well-being and with the provision of emotional support” ( Erickson, 2005, p. Achieving intimacy may involve working to influence boundaries between partners (e.g., to reduce boundaries by encouraging expression of feelings). boundaries highlight the dynamic quality of the structures of gender relations, as they influence and are shaped by social interactions” (p. Gerstel and Peiss (1985) suggested that “boundaries are an important place to observe gender relations. Research has also emphasized that women are more likely than men in heterosexual relationships to view the absence of boundaries (i.e., autonomy and separation of partners that preclude the sharing of personal thoughts, feelings, and emotions with each other) between partners as central to intimacy ( Rubin, 1990).
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In this study, we worked from this perspective to consider the possibility that intimacy is enacted and experienced by men and women in different ways depending on whether they are in a relationship with a man or a woman. The gender-as-relational perspective emphasizes that how men and women enact gender is influenced by social interactions within relational contexts. Past research has centered on how men and women view and experience intimate relationships in different ways, but almost everything we know about intimacy in long-term relationships is based on heterosexual (i.e., different-sex) couples. Intimacy, defined as a sense of mutual closeness and connection, is widely recognized as contributing to relationship quality ( Julien, Chartrand, Simard, Bouthillier, & Bégin, 2003 Peplau, 2001). Long-term committed relationships, and in particular the quality of relationships, are profoundly important to the health and well-being of men and women ( Umberson, Williams, Powers, Liu, & Needham, 2006). These findings push thinking about diversity in long-term relationships beyond a focus on gender difference and toward gendered relational contexts.
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Moreover, these dynamics, including the type and division of emotion work, vary for men and women depending on whether they are in a same-sex or different-sex relationship. They found that emotion work directed toward minimizing and maintaining boundaries between partners is key to understanding intimacy in long-term relationships. They merged the gender-as-relational perspective-that gender is co-constructed and enacted within relationships-with theoretical perspectives on emotion work and intimacy to frame an analysis of in-depth interviews with 15 lesbian, 15 gay, and 20 heterosexual couples. In this study, the authors shifted the focus to consider gendered meanings and experiences of intimacy in same-sex and different-sex relationships.
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Knowledge about how gender shapes intimacy is dominated by a heteronormative focus on relationships involving a man and a woman.